Dear Sonia—

Since you’re a new mom, I can understand your feelings about not wanting to wear heels or dressy shoes most days. I’m sure you’re thinking it’s time to just be good to yourself, and get into a bit of an earthier groove, now that you’ve got a little one in your life to keep you on your toes. But re-consider boots, especially this time of year. There are some great low-heeled ones around that are both comfortable and classy—perfect for that “polished” look you’re after with skinny jeans. I just bought two fabulous pairs of tall Frye boots—one black, and another brown—and I pretty much feel like living in them this fall. Still, if you find boots a little too heavy, ballet flats or a nice driving shoe or loafer can look great with your jeans. Although we all adore our sneakers, I’d save that kind of footwear for the gym, or those days when you really don’t care about making any kind of “polished” impression. There are so many styles of shoes around that are classy, cool, and comfy, that there shouldn’t be any reason to resort to runners. Of course, you’ll likely have to invest in a whole new shoe wardrobe anyway: Most of us find our feet are at least a half-size bigger after a pregnancy. Apparently, there are hormones called Relaxin that your ovaries produce to help your whole body become looser so your baby will come out more easily. Your ligaments are also relaxed as a result, and hence, your feet can grow up to a size bigger. The increased weight gain during pregnancy can also flatten your arches, leaving you with flatter, bigger feet. A small price to pay for the joys of motherhood. Besides, a great excuse to go shoe shopping!

Dear Mary—

As I always maintain, there are few things more precious for us to give one another than our own personal stories. I’m all for sharing information, of any type with our “sisters”. But that being said, one has to be careful to remember not to try and “sell” our experiences to others—especially in the case of something like Botox. Using a drug like that, which is still rather controversial, simply isn’t right for everybody. And just because you were pleased with the results doesn’t mean that everyone’s going to have a great experience with it. Certainly, the choice to use Botox is a very personal one. I’m not sure I would just start talking about it unless I was asked. But then again, the choice to talk about your Botox use is a very personal one. Some women would never admit to using these kinds of injectables. For others, it seems like a natural thing to do—and a kind of necessity—and they can’t see any harm in sharing all the details. Using Botox and various other injectables is pretty commonplace these days with women—and men— of “a certain age”. But I’d be careful about advocating the use of anything, even though you may swear by it. As the old saying goes: “One man’s food is another man’s poison.” In the case of Botox, it’s rather ironic that although the drug has worked wonders on lots of people, really easing up on their facial lines, it really is considered a type of toxin. If you’re going to share information about your use of Botox, or any other cosmetic procedure for that matter—just make sure you’re also urging people to do their own research, and only go to those really qualified to give these types of appearance-altering injections. I’d hate to be the one recommending something to someone that ended up backfiring or just not really working very well at all.